Rolling along beautifully in life; until...

Evolution of self in one amazingly horrific decade of hurt; leading to the point that could have killed me. 

You’re rolling along beautifully in life, and then a mosquito bites you! On your back! 

As you reach to smack it, you pull your arm pit muscle. 

You reach with the other hand, to rub your muscle, you let out a sigh of pain. 

You’re attacked from the woods, when your sound reached the nearby wolf pack; out hunting. 

Before you know it; you’re running scared, your heart is pounding in fear, and you have to pee. 

That last thought gave your brain enough time to not see the stream running through the woods. 

Writing out a potentially painful, potentially life ending situation that I self fixed in under 19 minutes, with just my husband; and my amazing dog, Roxie! 

*Dont worry, bitches! I got this shit on lock down and I’m rolling through the waves breathing. 

Rolling through life, feel good about myself for a change! 🥰

Waiting on the ob/gyn to call to discuss results of full hormone panel, full thyroid panel, and to discuss scheduling surgery (bc the hospital is my PTSD hell). 😬

Getting over crisis of self: through hard, painfully excruciating, vulnerability to reflect change

Change of myself; to fix others and me in any beautiful & extremely safe way I can (adjusted to each person’s need - this is why I shoot my rainbows where my soul feels they’re needed. 

Look through the posts and see how many people 

Update: 5.October 2019

So, I’ve slowly released some posts, and have zero bad feelings about low/no views. Because I understand that I’m not interesting to many people. 

But this post...

This post was the night of my call to 91-, and is a post that clarified many things for me. 

I was running around the house like a mad woman! I was inside/outside back and forth in seconds it felt like. I felt like I was zooming everywhere, but everyone else was standing still. It was seriously slow motion, and complete tunnel vision. 

I remember me and some of my interactions that night. 

I remember:not knowing where anyone was at the moment I called 911; feeling uncertain about what reactions I could expect from any/everyone about this situation, or how aware they were of the circumstances. I wanted it to be quiet here while it was happening. I didn’t want my son or neighbors to worry about their safety, while I figured things out safely. 

And I’ll open up more, as time goes on. I’m willing to be the work in progress, but I need people to stop breaking my brain first. 

#Psychological trauma is tough. Nobody should have to face it alone.